The last two weeks came straight out of hell and culminated with another suicide attempt last night. P is stable and breathing on his own. He sneaked around and got a refill on Ativan, even after the medicine was discontinued by his MD. I had no idea he had them. He took between 40 and 50 of the two milligram tablets. He was semi-conscious when paramedics arrived and is in hospital awaiting transfer back to the crisis unit where he spent the four weeks in January and February.
I have been writing all these days, just did’t publish anything. My book is getting thicker by the day.
9 comments:
Oh no. Will be thinking of you and Parish. Hope, hope, hope that he will recover and that you will be filled with peace and strength. Sending hugs and warmth. Jen Rowe
Claudia, my thoughts are with you.
I hope the next weeks bring peace for both of you.
No words have I.
But lots of feeling.
Hugs.
I know you don't want to hear this, but if you ever want to have any kind of a life AT ALL, you and Lawrence need to SERIOUSLY think about having Parish institutionalized permanently. There cannot be a shred of joy in his life, and there is absolutely no reason for him to take you down with him. I know this sounds harsh, CJ, but you know in your heart he will never be better, ever. If he ever succeeded in one of his suicide attempts, you would feel horrible that it was on your watch. Better to have him someplace safe 24-7. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be saying this.
I feel your love, Judie.
Don't think for a minute that Lawrence and I haven't considered long term institutionalization. The problem, thanks the the ACLU, is that no such place exists. Mentally ill people cannot be put away against their wills. All state run facilities have been closing down for more than three decades. They should have been cleaned up, not closed, but the hard fact is that they were closed and all the patients were dumped on the streets. (Spawning the rampant homeless population in the country.)
Institutionalization against one's will does not exist. It is against the law! There are private long term facilities, and should be be able to afford one, we could not force P to stay there. He could leave any time he chose. It's the law. People with mental disabilities can choose for themselves, even though they are incapable of living independently and making rational decisions.
Being crazy is not a crime. No person with mental illness belongs in jail. They should be in state run facilities that are focused on treatment, not punishment. No such institutions exist.
What would you do?
I send you my love,
cj
Claudia, I am heartbroken to read about this. Hugs and kisses.... I know there is nothing I can say except that I love you....Dona
I'm sorry!! Hope you both are doing better.
I knew something was wrong when you had not posted in so long. Love you Claudia.
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